Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Unapologetic Cop Out

Hey, so I'm here sitting in my hostel in Bangkok putting together a blog post, and I realized that I have skipped over several weeks of thrilling, edge of your seat American Southwest action. I'm sorry readers, that's not fair to you and I won't let it happen again (I'm totally gonna let it happen again). You don't get any photos because I wiped this computer before getting on the plane, but here's a quick recap of the end of my tenure as a conservationist.

Death Valley
This was an interesting one. We were engaged to, as usual, kill tamarisk trees that ware choking the river that runs through death valley. So, first of all, there is a river in Death Valley, which was news to me, and second, it supports enough life that we were hired to get rid of some of it. There are even these schools of tiny fish running through the river, like hundreds of them. So the name may be slight hyperbole.

Because we were using herbicides, which needed to be rinsed out of our sprayers every day, out project partner (the person who hired us) insisted we couldn't camp in a designated wilderness area. Instead, we camped in a spot where two men had built and maintained a cabin in the old timey style, and had apparently been buried there (there were grave markers of unascertainable
veracity with their names next to a flag pole). It was, additionally, a popular spot for recreational shooters, to judge from the three inch layer of casings and bullets that coated the ground of the entire area, in addition to the bullet ridden propane tanks and bowling pins on the nearest ridge.
The popularity of this ad hoc shooting range was reaffirmed when we came back from work on a saturday to find a gun toting stranger standing in the middle of our camp, surrounded by our tents, firing down range. When we drove up he looked at us, finished his clip, and waved.

Also because this was an herbicide project, we were required to where fresh clothes and shower daily. The showering was okay- solar shower with a bucket, dump it over your head each night. But since no one owned eight sets of clothes, every other day we “washed” our duds by dumping Dr Bronners (it's biodegradable!) into a tub of water then putting all of our clothes in it, essentially just equally redistributing the filth amongst all of our clothes.

The strangest bit about the whole thing was definitely the balloons. We'd frequently come across deflated red balloons on the valley floor, so frequently that the project partner included picking them up as part of our scope of work. Once I actually watched one slowly lose altitude and touch down (it was a slow afternoon). Some of them would have pictures of people attached. I found out later that, for some reason, it is common practice to send a balloon up at the edge of death valley as a memorial for a loved one. So I was basically the guy that cleans up the wilted flowers and molding teddy bears from the graveyard.

Buenos Aires round dos.

I got two spend another two weeks working on one of my favorite projects- the Buenos Aires Wildlife Preserve. Located so close to the border that you can literally see the fence from work, Buenos Aires is compromised primarily of semi arid grass land and mesquite groves. The groves are what brought us there, first time and second- there are way too many, which means we get to spend the week cutting down mesquites, which is why I love this project. Mesquite are large and super hard, and covered in two inch spines that go right through leather gloves. In other words, awesome.

It was neat seeing the preserve in the spring instead of winter. The flora, being grass and mesquite, was pretty much identical, but the fauna started to return. We saw tons of coyotes and mice and red hawks, including the two that nested in a pine next to the shop and screeched at us for working near them. AlsoI learned you cannot tame a hawk with beef jerky.

Lake Meredith
So, people will tell you the texas panhandle is a dry, ugly, dust storm ridden desolate wasteland of derelict oil derricks and fire gutted walmarts. This is, of course, blatant lies and exaggeration. The walmarts there are lovely

rimshot

We spent a week here killing tamarisk trees that are choking out a waterway at the state park. The wind was bad enough that our tents had ~60% survival rate.

Colorado NM
This place is unbelievably goddam beautiful, and I never knew it even existed. It's, like, Zion crazy gorgeous. And it's all thanks to one particular lunatic a hundred years ago. John Otto loved this area so much he sent a series of increasingly aggressive letters to congress until the prez finally monumentized it. In the meantime, he free climbed the tallest spire, hung and americal flag over a canyon, and attempted to carve the preamble into a cliff face.

And of course, the work here was the dullest and least interesting possible. We spent our time spraying invasive grasses with herbicide. For ten hours a day. For eight days. Yay.

Prescott
Prescott national forest is...nothing special, to be honest. It's a lovely semi-forested grassland, with a large pinyon pine population. It is, however, the only project I got to spend in the back country- back country referring to an area we can't drive to. I got to hike my stuff in and help haul our food the few miles between the end of the road and our site on a power hauler, a motorized treaded vehicle that looks like a mad max wheel barrow. We spent the week building trail. The initial clearing was done by a bulldozer, and we came behind with hand tools to turn it into a pretty pretty trail for hiking, biking and horse riding.

Things I learned from doing intense manual labor for eight days in the back country
Dehydrated vegetarian food is basically just different kinds of pastes
It is possible for a tent and everything in it to smell indistinguishable from fart
You really do become accustomed to overpowering body odor in yourself and your peers

Pooping outside is invigorating, but not as restful as pooping in a bathroom.  


So, that's that for all that. Coming soon, Asia! To whet your appetite, here's a lil' teaser


I know my audience

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